


Believer

by jaminsjiminsjams



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, SPN - Freeform, Supernatural Reader insert, castiel (supernatural) x reader, supernatural fanfic - Freeform, supernatural fanfiction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 18:54:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16708123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaminsjiminsjams/pseuds/jaminsjiminsjams
Summary: Pairing: Castiel x ReaderRequested: No.Fandom: SupernaturalSummary: Castiel goes to confess his feelings to y/n, but before he can, she has a few words to say.Rating: Fluff.





	Believer

**Author's Note:**

> Castiel x Reader, inspired by line(s) from “Believer” by Imagine Dragons.

I was choking in the crowd

Living my brain up in the cloud

Falling like ashes to the ground

Hoping my feelings, they would drown

But they never did, ever lived, ebbing and flowing

Inhibited, limited

Till it broke up and it rained down

It rained down, like

(Pain)

 

By the grace of the fire and the flames

You’re the face of the future, the blood in my veins, oh ooh

The blood in my veins, oh ooh

 

\---------------

Castiel paces around the room. He can’t understand the waves of anxiety that crash into him. This shouldn’t be that hard. It’s only a few words. A few sentences. He just has to say it and wait for a response. Yet, his heart stammers in his chest, his palms grow sweaty as he runs them through his hair, doing nothing but making it messier than it was originally. He closes his eyes and takes in a few deep breathes. All throughout the night he rehearsed his speech. He had it down to a science. Castiel had made sure it was perfect, he’d memorized it by heart, but suddenly he couldn’t remember any of it. He heard your door open as you called out for Dean and Sam. He only had a few seconds. Shakily, he quickly reaches into his pockets. He struggles to grab the note cards with his sweaty palms and pulls them out. You turn the corner, and he looks down at the notes desperately.

“Y/n!” His voice is louder than he means it to be, and she looks up in shock.

“Oh, hey Cas.” Y/n laughs sheepishly and walks up to the obviously flustered angel. “What’s up?” He stares down at her and his eyes widen in horror as he tries to shove the notes back in his pocket. He misses entirely, and they fall to the ground. Y/n tries to pretend she doesn’t notice for his sake, and instead she smiles.

“Y/n, I need to, I need to say-say something to you,” he stutters. “I must tell you something.” Y/n nods quickly, holding her hand up.

“I need to say something first, Cas. It’s really important…please?” He visibly steps back when he meets her gaze, unable to take the intensity of her e/c eyes.

“O-oh, yes. Yes, that’s fine. Go ahead,” he smiles nervously.

 

Y/n closes her eyes, and sighs softly. “I’m not…I’m not good at this stuff, but, Cas…” She opens her eyes and musters all her courage. “I really, really care for you Cas.” Castiel’s eyes widen. “I know it’s crazy, Cas…I just…” She looks up at him, meeting his gaze. “I love you, Cas. I do.” He tilts his head, the world rolling around in his head. “And you don’t have to say anything- I just, I just wanted to let you know. I had to say it, I had to at least say it…”

After a few moments of silence pass, y/n shifts uncomfortably. “Please say something. Cas?” His eyes dart to meet her gaze, and his lips part, a small smile tugging at his lips.

“Y/n, thank you for telling me.” Her heart falls slightly, and she looks down at the ground.

“O-oh. Yeah, no problem.” She says, smiling sheepishly. Castiel tilts his head and breathes in deeply.

Y/n,” he murmurs, closing his eyes briefly.

“No- Cas, you don’t have to…uh, say anything, I guess. I jus-”

“No, Y/n. I need to.” He moves forward, placing his hands on her shoulders. “Really, thank you for telling me how you feel y/n.” She clenches her jaw slightly and looks down, nodding. “I do not need to worry about your reaction now.”

Her eyebrows shoot down in confusion, and she looks up, opening her mouth to ask him what he means.

Castiel kisses her before she can say anything, wrapping his arms around her and weaving one hand into her hair.

Y/n stands still, stunned at his actions.

“Y/n, I love you. More than anything I’ve ever known,” he pulls away, resting his forehead on hers and staring deeply into her e/c eyes. “I have never known anything that makes me feel the way you do,” he murmurs, briefly closing his eyes.

When they open again, his eyes glow intensely. “I did not know what love was,” he continues. “I did not understand how humans could become so…” He frowns, trying to find the right word. “So…infatuated, with each other. Wanting to spend every second with each other, wanting to keep the other one safe…I’ve felt like this…for you…for so long, I didn’t understand…how could I? Something so…painfully beautiful, how could that be love? Love should not hurt, it should not feel as if every moment away from you is ripping apart my entire being…and if so, being near should rid of that- but it doesn’t…nothing does, nothing makes this feeling go away. Love is not supposed to be painful, it should not hurt…but it does.” He steps forward, as if trying to get closer to y/n, although he is already pressed against her. “It does, and…it is strange. Even now, my heart…” He grabs her hand and presses it to his chest. “…it is beating out of control, my chest is contracting, and my breath is getting lost in my throat, I-” He closes his eyes, breathing in deeply.

 

His eyes flash. “It does not go away…but it is not…” he tilts his head and breathes in deeply. “It is not unpleasant,” he tilts his head down, his nose bumping against hers. “It’s rather…nice.” A smile forms on y/n’s face and he kisses her again.

“Castiel- I,”

“No, y/n, I am not done.” He opens his eyes. “I want you to be safe, happy…I want you to be loved,” his face scrunches slightly. “But not because of anyone else, because of me.” He clarifies. “I want to keep you safe. I want to make you happy, I want to…I want to love you, y/n. Let me…will you let me love you?” His eyes widen as his features soften, his eyes unbelievably blue as he stares at her. Y/n smiles again, staring down at the ground “Castiel, I just told you how I felt a few minutes ago…you know-” Castiel presses his palm to her cheek, tilting her head up to meet her gaze.

“I want to hear you say it, y/n. Please,” his eyebrows pull down, and he dips his head down, whispering in her ear: “Please, y/n…I want you to be mine: let me love you.”

Y/n’s eyes widen slightly, and he rests his head on her shoulder, his breath hot on her skin.

“Cas…” He pulls his head back instantly, his blue eyes peering into her soul as she smiles. “Of course- yes, Cas…you can…” She laughs softly. “You have permission to love me,” she giggles, not able to control her laughter. Castiel’s face falls, his eyebrows pulling down as he frowns softly.

“You…you’re laughing at me? I did something wrong…” He begins to pull away, but she grabs the sleeve of his trench coat.

“No, Cas- it’s just, you don’t have to ask for someone’s permission to love them.” Cas’s frown contorts into a look of confusion.

“I do not?” He asks.

“No, Cas, you don’t.” Y/n smiles brightly, shaking her head slightly at the Angel’s confusion. His face brightens.

“Well, then, I love you, y/n.” He pulls y/n to him, kissing her forehead and smiling. “I always have, and I always will.”


End file.
